The Alchemist is in
Your best bartender, reading every guest who sits down.
A tablet at your bar asks every guest three questions, then hands them a pour picked for them — and hands you their name.
01 · How it works — try it
Take the quiz and find your perfect pour.
“Three questions is all it takes to read a guest. Answer them honestly, and let me read you.”
— The Alchemist
✦ The Alchemist
Tell us about yourself.
Tap all that apply in each section.
01 · Your kava experience
How familiar are you with kava and botanical teas?
02 · Your vibe right now
What’s the occasion?
03 · Your palate
✦ The Alchemist’s recommendation
At the bar this arrives with a Show & Go offer attached — and the guest who tapped it is now a name you own. Print a QR for every table and they can all run it at once.
POV · the guest’s hands
[ FILM PENDING — 9:16 placeholder ]
02 · The Tuesday problem
You know your Friday number. You don’t know a single new name in it.
You’ll shake a hundred hands on a good night — and by Tuesday you can’t reach a single one of them.
It’s Friday, the bar is three-deep, and the next new face just asked what’s the difference between the red and the green.
You know what sold last week, but not what any one guest actually wanted, so every stocking and pricing call is a guess.
So Tuesday comes and you’re boosting another post to strangers online — while the people who actually walked in walk out unrecorded.
03 · Pick your seat
It’s the same kiosk at one bar or three. What changes is how much of it we run for you.
“The reading changes with the bar. Tell me about yours.”
— The Alchemist
“Friday takes care of itself. Tuesday is the one that hurts. Every guest who sits down tells me who they are — that’s the list that fills Tuesday.”
What you get
- A contact list of real customers Guests put in their name and contact info on the kiosk before they get their recommendation. Everyone on that list has been in your bar, and you can email them.
- Their answers, saved next to their name The kiosk asks why they’re out tonight — after work, celebrating, wound up — and how strong they want it. Those answers stay on their record, so the next email you send can go to the people it actually fits.
- A record of who came in You can look up a guest and see the night they were in and what the kiosk recommended to them.
- A deal they show the bartender Each recommendation comes with an offer on the screen. The guest shows it at the bar to claim it, and the kiosk records that it was used — so you can see which offers people actually take.
Founding Pioneer
$297$177/mo · $500 setup
Your rate holds 24 months. Pay yearly and month twelve is free — $1,947. After the first ten bars, Bar is $297/mo.
10 seats at this rate — claim one
“You’ve got one bar and no time to build anything. So I build it, hand it over working, and once a month we go through what it found together.”
Everything in Bar, plus
- We set it up for you Send us your menu and we build it into the kiosk, get it on your tablet, and hand it over working.
- A call with Chris every month Thirty minutes on what your guest numbers show and what to change.
- Text me during service If something’s wrong at 9pm on a Friday, you text and get an answer.
Right for you if
- You run one bar and want somebody else to do the setup.
- You’ll actually read the monthly numbers and act on them.
- You want a person to ask, not a help doc.
Founding Pioneer
$349$177/mo · $999 $500 setup
Rate holds 24 months. $1,947 if you pay the year up front. House Single is $349/mo once the ten seats are gone.
10 seats at this rate — claim one
“I can only stand behind one bar at a time. You’ve got three, and you can’t be at all of them. So the kiosk sits in every one, asking the same questions, on the nights you’re nowhere near it.”
The scale problem
- You can’t be at every bar at once, and the one you’re not at slowly stops running like the one you are.
- Every new location is a bet, and right now you’re placing it on feel — not on what your last bar actually did.
- Your guests’ history is scattered across POS systems and apps that own it, not you — so you start the relationship over at every new door.
- The thing that made the first bar special is the first thing to thin out when you open the next.
Everything in House Single, plus
- Up to 3 locations covered One agreement, one rate, and the same quality of recommendation at each bar.
- Unified multi-location dashboard Leads, conversions, and Show & Go redemptions by bar, in one place.
- Cross-location inventory & batch control What works at one bar rolls out to the rest.
- An hour with Chris each month, and a direct line Plus first access to new features and co-marketing.
Founding Pioneer
$649$177/mo · per location · $500 setup
Three bars, one agreement, rate held 24 months. Standard is $649/mo for three. Bring your location count to the call and we’ll do the math out loud.
10 seats at this rate — claim one
04 · The pilot
One week at one bar.
Bula Base ran for a week at Shanti, a working kava bar in St. Augustine. Every number below came out of that week.
Everything it ran on is live today:
- Guest quiz kioskFrequency → Intention → Palate, on the tablet at the seat.
- Recommendation engine with offersEvery pick carries a reason and a Show & Go offer.
- Lead capture with consent recordsNames and preferences, with a consent record for each one.
- Admin dashboardEvery lead, by day and by what was recommended.
- A live menu97 items on the deployed instance.
“Yours are the next ones I want to read.”
05 · The numbers
Pioneer seats.
Pioneer · first bars only
$177/mo
$500 setup · 24-month rate lock
“Less than an extra shift per week — for a second bartender who never clocks out.”
- Try it firsttwo weeks free · setup due only if you stay · every lead is yours to keep
- Annual option$1,947/yr — month twelve free
- Ratelocked 24 months
- You bringWiFi
- Includedtablet · setup · the Alchemist · 4 QR table pieces
Pioneer pricing is for the first bars; then it’s $297 and up.
Bring your Tuesday.
We’ll bring the Alchemist. Give us fifteen minutes and we’ll walk through what week one looks like at your bar.